Kinda Happy, Kinda Not…

By: Brett | October 26th, 2009

bocariver

River Plate 1 – 1 Boca

If figures are to be believed, then the happiness of 72.6% of the Argentine population rested on the outcome of the 324th Superclassico yesterday afternoon at the El Monumental stadium in Buenos Aires. In the end, I guess they were all, like myself, kinda happy, but kinda not…

That’s right, from the “It’s on the internet, so it must be true” file, apparently 40% of Argentinians are prepared to tell anyone who will listen that they love Boca Juniors. To them I say – nice work. To the 32.6% of misguided fools who when asked the question, “Are you a Boca Juniors fan?”, shyly reply, “No, I, uh, I like River…”, I say – educate yourselves.

But, people and the foolish choices they make is another debate for another time. Let’s get to the match.

It was an exquisite afternoon for football, and the combatants certainly didn’t let anyone down. And whilst the score wasn’t the 8-0 drubbing I had hoped for, nor the routine 3-1 victory I had considered bare minimum, it was a great tussle between the two runaway football fan favourites. And to I guess, if I was asked, under oath, by James Spader, I could admit that 1-1 was about right.

Boca were on the back, back, back foot early against a River team who clearly realised that their only chance of taking any dignity (or points) away from this one was to attack first and attack hard. And whilst our young defenders – yes Monzon and Paletta, I’m looking at you – did their utmost to help them by way of clumsy, drunken sailor-esque challenges in and around the penalty box, Los Millonarios were held at bay by the evergreen Roberto Abbondanzieri.

Until the 29th minute. To be fair though, he got as close to the ball as his 37 year old body could get him, and he had already saved one penalty a few minutes before. Things don’t work quite like they used to, eh Pato? Don’t worry chief, it was a fair effort from your fellow golden oldie in Gallardo.

Now, I am willing to acknowledge that for the better portion of the first forty-five, Boca were perhaps not playing as well as River…but that all changed in the second forty-five. Martin ditched what was clearly a bizarre mask of invisibility and Romi decided to get out of first gear. Thank the lord they did too, what with all the defensive shenanigans of the first half.

The equaliser soon came, but not before Julio Caceres was sent off for….for what? Ariel Ortega tried to instigate a bit of argy-bargy and then went down. He went down quicker than Bank of America stocks. He went down quicker than a two dollar hooker. He went down so quick I was trying to check the crowd for snipers. The ref looked at Julio, figured it was his doing, and gave him an early shower. Quality work all round.

Despite having the crowd, and apparently the referee, against them, Boca kept coming. Los Xenienes never give up. They duly received their reward in minute 63. And what a beautiful piece of football it was, too, with Gaitan and Romi doing superbly in the build up and Martin battering it home with authority. I would describe it to you in a more eloquent fashion, using the very limited number of superlatives I have at my disposal, but instead I will leave it to Google (don’t worry, all will be revealed by entries end).

From that moment on, it was the Boca show. Or more specifically, the Romi show. The way he was directing traffic, toying with the River defenders, made you feel that another goal was just a matter of time. But, someway, somehow, River managed to hold out for what was, in the end, a point they should consider themselves lucky to have earned.

After I watched the match, a funny feeling came over me. This strange sense of the familiar, like, in some way, I was re-living the same event, much like the way Bill Murray once did. Only, this was a lot less annoying. And then I realised what it was – I was having flashbacks to the last Superclassico. Remember that one? At La Bombonera? No, had one too many cervejas since then? It’s ok, I get it – Quilmes Bock is awesome.

So, can you guess the score? Yep – 1-1. And the goal scorers? Yep – a Gallardo free-kick into the top near corner and a Palermo lash from just on the edge of the box. Nice work.

So, yeah, I’m kinda happy, but kinda not. Kind happy because we didn’t lose, but kinda not happy because we didn’t win. Kinda happy, because it took River’s best performance for two years to hold us to a draw, kinda not happy because we didn’t finish them off in the second half when had the chance. Know what I mean?

On a lighter note, how wicked is Google Translate? It always brightens up my day to see what the word for boobs is in other random dialects (in Albanian it’s ‘gjokse’). With that in mind I’ve decided to make it the subject of a new segment here on the Boca Offside. After each match I will check in with the Boca Juniors official website and translate their official match analysis in search of the most humorously incomprehensible piece of Spanish to English translation action.

To get the segment rolling, here’s google translate’s take on the equalizing goal from Palermo…

” And what we saw coming, it finally happened. Palermo, in his first appearance of the match, sent her to the back of the net. Center Gaitan, Roman’s exquisite touch and definition of eternal scorer to put the match 1 to 1. “

Here are the goals: